Chapter Twelve
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I have no idea how long it was before Dennis came in
and stood staring at me with an expression I really
could not decipher. After a minute or two he asked,
"You drink beer now?"
I started crying quietly and answered, "I had to. I
needed something to make me numb."
I paused a moment and then I said, "I'm sorry Dennis."
He looked like he was trying to think of something to
say but I stopped him. "Don't say anything. I
understand. I don't expect you to forgive me. I'm not
asking you to. I just want you to know that I'm sorry.
I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I know you
want me out of your life now. I don't know where to
go."
I put my head down on my arms then and cried quietly. I
felt a hand on my head and I jumped, startled. I
thought he had left the room.
I sat up and without even looking up at him I said,
"Don't touch me Dennis. I'm...you know what I am now.
You saw it. I'm ruined." I chuckled mirthlessly and
said, "I'm broken. It's okay. I don't expect you to
feel anything for me anymore."
He pulled out the chair next to me and sat down. I
suddenly noticed as he sat down that he had finally put
his pants back on. I couldn't look him in the eye
though. I was much too ashamed.
We sat together in silence for a long time until he
asked, "What happened?"
I wiped my eyes on a paper napkin that was lying on the
table and cleared my throat. In a quiet, and dead calm
voice I said, "You saw. I disobeyed you. I let him come
here to help him with his studies and...and he did
those things to me. And it wasn't rape Dennis. I lost
control. I let him do those things and when it was
happening to me I...I don't know. I guess I went a
little crazy. He made me feel things I never felt
before and I went crazy. You saw it."
I took another big sip of my beer and then I said,
"When he was done he opened the door and there was
Terrill with the camera. Dennis, what you saw, that was
the tame stuff. I couldn't even tell you the things
they made me do after that. I'm having trouble
believing it myself. But I don't have any choice now. I
just keep doing what they tell me and it just keeps
getting worse. I'm trapped now. There is no way out of
this. They have those movies. Oh god Dennis! I am so
sorry!"
I felt his arms go around me and I tried to pull away.
I shook my head violently and sobbed, "No Dennis. You
don't..."
He didn't let me finish. He pulled me into his arms and
he held me and he kissed my face. I tried to turn away
but he forced his lips against mine and kissed me
forcefully. I gave up. I put my arms around his neck
and held him close. I didn't understand why he was
doing this. I just knew that I really needed to be
held.
We sat like that until I stopped crying and when I
straightened up he picked up the bottle of beer and
sniffed it. He made a wry face and asked, "Does this
help?"
I shrugged and said, "Not much. A little. Once you have
had a few the taste isn't quite as bad. He made me buy
some wine too but I haven't tried it yet. I don't know
what it tastes like."
He put my beer down and went over and got two more of
them out of the refrigerator and brought them back to
the table. He opened them and handed me one of them. He
took a sip of his and made a face. I smiled and said,
"Yeah, it's awful. But it's better than remembering."
He took a couple more sips and then he put the bottle
down and said, "I suppose you have tried to think of
some way out of this?"
I nodded. "I don't know where those DVDs are or how
many there are. And he is such a cruel boy. I'm scared
of him now. He was so devious. He must have planned
this for a long time. He made me think he was such a
sweet, naïve young man and I bought it. I bought the
whole act."
Dennis said, "Yes, he is scary. But we can't just give
up. He will make life unbearable for both of us. He
doesn't care if he destroys you and me and our parents.
No, I think that it isn't that he doesn't care. I think
that he would enjoy it. We can't let him. We have to
fight back."
I looked at Dennis. It was obvious that he was sincere
of course. But he was just whistling in the dark. He
was just as helpless now as I was.
I looked at the clock on the microwave and saw that it
was almost eleven. I was always in bed by nine on a
school night. I gulped down the last few sips of beer
and stood up. I looked down at Dennis and asked, "Do
you want me to sleep in the guest room?"
He reached out and took my hand and shook his head.
He seemed sincere but I couldn't believe that he would
want to be near me now. I said, "It's okay Dennis. I
would understand. I wouldn't hold it against you. I saw
those DVDs and I know what you went through tonight
because of me. You have every right to kick me right
out of the house."
He nodded and said, "Yeah, I know. And if someone had
presented me with this horrible set of facts and asked
me what I would do I would have said that I would throw
you out on your ass. I don't understand why I don't
feel that way though. I think what I want to do is go
to bed and hold you in my arms and try to go to sleep."
"Tomorrow, and quite a few tomorrows after that are
going to be difficult. Much more so for you than for
me. We are going to need our rest. It won't be right
away, but we are going to find some way out of this. If
not, then I guess we either run away or kill the son of
a bitch."
We went down the hall to our bedroom and I watched
Dennis get undressed and put his pajamas on. I stood
watching as he got in bed and then he threw the covers
back for me to get in beside him.
I stared at him and finally I asked, "I don't get it
Dennis. Why are you being so nice to me?"
He looked me right in the eye and said, "It turns out I
love you. And I guess I have a guilty conscience."
That startled me. "Why? What do you feel guilty about?
You are a victim in this!"
"So are you Amanda." He replied. "The thing that
bothers me most though is that I watched that first DVD
tonight and I had a hard on all the way through it. And
you know what? I'm looking forward to watching the
second one tomorrow night."
Now I was as confused as he obviously was. I stared at
him for a moment and he continued, "And you may not
have noticed, but I had three orgasms tonight during
all of that kinky sex. I liked having your mouth on me
and even though I hated seeing you getting raped like
that tonight, I am embarrassed to say that watching it
turned me on. So you aren't the only one with a guilty
conscience. Now get in bed."
I crawled into bed and Dennis pulled me close and
kissed me before I turned onto my side and we curled up
together. His hand moved over my naked body and he
kissed my shoulder. This was the first time in our
marriage that I had gone to bed naked.
We didn't speak and although he toyed with my breast
for a few minutes before we finally went to sleep we
didn't do anything but cuddle. We lay there in the dark
for a while before we went to sleep and I realized how
much I had missed him this weekend. I wanted to tell
him that. I wanted to tell him that I loved him. I
wanted to apologize again. But instead I just lay in
his arms and cried softly until I fell asleep.
When I woke up he was already in the bathroom. I got up
and went in and sat on the toilet while he brushed his
teeth. When I started to pee he turned around and
stared. We had never been in the bathroom at the same
time before and he was surprised that I was being so
casual about it now.
I wiped myself and stood up and went over and put my
arms around him while he finished brushing his teeth
and then started shaving. I kissed his back and held
him tight and said, "I'm so sorry Dennis. Thank you for
last night. I needed you to hold me so much."
I paused and then I asked, "Do you think we can survive
this?"
He finished shaving and turned around and took me in
his arms and hugged me. He said, "I learned a lot about
myself that I didn't know last night. I'm not sure how
I feel about the things that I learned. But I also
learned how much I love you and yes, I know that we can
survive this."
We kissed then and while we were kissing I untied his
pajama bottoms and let them fall to the floor. He
watched me drop to the floor and take his cock in my
mouth, of my own free will this time, and suck it
lovingly until he came in my mouth.
When I had swallowed I looked up to see how he reacted,
besides the obvious reaction of course, and I was
relieved to see that he was looking at me with
affection in his eyes. He pulled me to my feet and held
me close and said, "I guess we have been missing out on
a lot of...interesting experiences. Maybe when this is
all over it won't have been a total loss."
I hugged him and said, "How would you like another new
experience?" I went over and turned the water on in the
shower and then I pulled him in and washed him all
over. He then helped me and when we got out and were
drying off he said, "I have never had an erection all
the way through a shower before."
I reached over and held his still erect cock and said,
"How would you like to be a little late for work?"
He grinned for the first time since he got home and
said, "I would like that. But we have a meeting
scheduled this morning that I cannot miss. I hope I
don't screw it up too bad because all I am going to be
able to think about is getting home and...well, we'll
see."
We went into the bedroom and got dressed. He put on his
normal clothing while I put on that little dress I had
to wear today and a pair of shoes. It didn't take long
to get dressed.
Dennis watched me and I saw that he was getting hard
again. I was glad. I needed him to get turned on or we
would never get through this.
He shook his head and said, "I can't believe you are
going to go to work like that. But I have to admit, you
sure look hot."
I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "I can't
believe I'm going to work like this either. And I can't
help wondering if I will still have a job by the end of
the day."
Dennis came up behind me and put his arms around me and
said, "You could always be a model. You are so
beautiful."
I took his hand from my waist and kissed it and said,
"I hope you still think I am beautiful when this is
over. If this is ever over."
We had screwed around so much that we didn't have time
for breakfast. I saw him out the door and I made myself
a sandwich for my lunch and grabbed my purse and drove
to school.
When I arrived I sat in my car in the staff parking
area and looked at all of the people around, both staff
and students. I wondered how many of the students that
I was about to walk by had seen me naked or seen
pictures of me naked this weekend. I wondered what my
co-workers were going to think of me in my new mini
dress. It was obvious that I wasn't wearing a bra. With
those top two buttons not buttoned my cleavage extended
down past my breasts. I could also make out the outline
of my nipples through the thin material. I was going to
alter the heart rate and blood flow of a lot of males
this morning.
I took a deep breath and opened my door and tried to
look normal as I walked through the throng of students
waiting for the bell to ring. I heard a lot of
conversations come to a sudden stop as I neared. I also
heard a few whistles as I passed by. I knew I was
blushing and I couldn't control it. I was furious with
myself but there was nothing I could do about it.
It seemed to take an hour to get through the crowd and
get through the door. The hall was nearly empty so I
didn't get much reaction to my outfit until I got to my
office. The secretary wasn't in yet. I wasn't worried
about her anyway. She was a slightly ditzy young blonde
who didn't dress much different than the way that I was
dressed now.
I was more worried about my assistant. My assistant was
Larry Cable. He was fifty years old and out of shape
and overweight. He had been passed over for the
position I held and he resented me. He didn't say or do
anything overt, nothing that I could actually complain
about. He tried very hard to talk to my face and not to
my chest and he was sometimes successful. He never said
the wrong thing, though he sometimes made suggestive
remarks, or at least remarks that could be taken the
wrong way.
His biggest problem though, was that he did sloppy
work. I had to correct or make him rewrite many of his
reports. He was just lazy. Every time I gave him back a
paper or a report that needed to be redone he bristled
with resentment. He never said anything. But the air
would be thick with resentment.
He was in the secretary's office when I entered and
when he turned around to say good morning his words
froze in his throat. He didn't even bother to try not
to stare.
I said good morning and passed hurriedly through to my
office and sat at my desk. I tried to pull my skirt
down to cover my exposed pussy but every move I made
caused it to ride back up so I just gave up and pulled
my chair under my desk.
I looked up to see Larry watching me with is mouth
open. When I looked up he finally said, "Nice dress
Amanda!"
I knew that he wanted to say more. I could see it in
his eyes. Thankfully he didn't dare. We spend our first
hour every morning going over student progress reports
for our hard cases. He went to his office, which had a
connecting door to mine, to get his paperwork.
As soon as he was out of sight I realized that I was so
anxious to sit down and hide behind my desk that I had
forgotten to get my coffee. I thought about skipping it
this morning, but that wasn't even an option. I
desperately needed a cup of coffee, this morning more
than ever.
I got back up and went out to the coffee pot out front.
I poured a cup of coffee and added a little sugar. When
I got back into my office Larry had pulled his chair up
beside my desk in the usual place. That had never been
a problem before, but I had never worn a dress like
this before.
I set my cup down and did my best to sit down without
putting on too much of a show for Larry. It didn't go
well. He stared at my legs openly as I took my seat and
I am sure that he got a brief glimpse of my pussy
before I could pull my chair in under my desk. If there
was any doubt it was erased when I looked at his face
after I pulled my chair in and saw how red he was.
I reached down and opened my desk drawer to pull out
the file I needed and as I leaned down I was aware that
now he was able to look right down the top of my dress.
I wanted to say the hell with it, let him look. But I
just wasn't made that way. This was incredibly
embarrassing for me. I was pretty sure that he had been
able to see far too much of my breast.
I sat up quickly and he was staring at me with a
confused but excited look on his face. I didn't need to
see it to know that he must have an erection by now.
I put my folder down and took a couple of sips of
coffee and tried to settle down. I suddenly realized
that my whole body was tingling as if I were excited.
Christ! What was wrong with me?! I don't even like this
ugly old man. How in the hell could I be getting
excited about being exposed to him and giving him an
erection?!
I took another sip of coffee to calm myself and it
occurred to me that it wasn't turning Larry on that was
exciting me. It was being exposed, and especially being
exposed against my will to a man that I didn't like. As
soon as I realized it I was even more disturbed. That
was totally out of character for me and I didn't want
to be like that.
I was brought back to the present by Larry shuffling
papers around and I opened my folder and we got to
work. I started feeling better once I began to
concentrate on my job. The first hour passed quickly
and we were just about to separate and start seeing our
appointments when the secretary stuck her head in and
said, "Mr. Vick is here. He brought Nathan White from
his first class. There was a problem."