Selfishness

That Saturday, we sat down to breakfast sometime around one. Melissa
dug into a bowl of Frosted Flakes as if she hadn't a care in the
world. Nothing wrong with that. We'd survived the coming out to each
other, right?

I cleared my throat. "We should talk."

She looked up, wide brown eyes curious, but not concerned.

"It's always important to go over a scene afterward, find out what we
liked and didn't like, what we should and shouldn't do again. For
example, you seemed to enjoy when I whipped you."

Another mouthful of cereal, and she waved the spoon at me accusingly.
"If it's any consolation, I hated the first three!"

"Usually the brain doesn't associate pain with pleasure right away,
even if you've been fantasizing about it."

She giggled. "Just lucky, I guess." I took the empty bowl and rinsed
it. "You were going easy on me, though. I could tell you were holding
back."

"I didn't want to push you too hard the first time."

Soft morning sunlight danced on the silver frames of her glasses. "I
won't break."

I had to kiss her. To swallow her soul.

Her flush when we finally came up for air told me she was staying the
weekend. "Jon... you don't have to worry about being... gay? Bi?" I
managed not to smile at her hesitation. "You and another guy? I think
it's--hot."

"That gives me an idea." I realized we were still holding hands.

**

"You know," Melissa remarked casually, "I wish I'd found some of these
toys Before." I pulled the strap snug, and she gave a slight nod. "I
would have been a lot less nervous."

"I like you nervous." With a feral grin, I licked around the left
wrist cuff and down to her armpit, gathering the sweat and relishing
her gasps and giggles. Straddling her, I kneaded her sides and reached
under, tasting her navel as I explored the curves of her back. Once
she began to twitch into my mouth, I spun around to see to her ankles.

Suddenly, the little minx yanked her feet out of reach! "Catch me if
you can," she simpered, then laughed as she glanced at her arms,
stretched out and bound to the corners of the bed.

"Well, now," I scolded "That was naughty of you."

"Sticks and stones will break my bones, but will Master really hurt
me?" I ran my fingers over her hip and around the curl of her drawn up
right leg, pressing harder as I went on. Her calf muscle trembled, as
if she couldn't decide to continue the game or move on to the next
one. Then it was too late.

"Gotcha!" I exclaimed, and dragged the recalcitrant limb back to the
cuff. "Ought to be ashamed of yourself. I thought you'd make a good
slave, they way you took your flogging last night."

"I'm soorrry, Master."

"Yes, you've got a lot to learn." I gently and quickly secured her
ankles, then brushed my lips against her forehead. "Starting now."

I knew what I wanted would be at the top of the toy box. Still, I made
sure to rummage loudly out of Melissa's sight. She turned her head on
the pillow, and the fan of her hair took my breath away.

"I think you'll look cute in these," I asserted, displaying my find.
"But you wouldn't want to wear them every day."

"I've worn a G-string before. I've even," she leered, "Shown you."

"You know, good girls push their underwear *down* when it shows above
their jeans." We both laughed at the memory. "But no. Look closer." I
turned the harness so she could examine the buckles. Her confusion
vanished, replaced by renewed apprehension.

"A strap-on?"

"I'd like to try a fantasy of mine, if that's all right." Thankfully
for my image, I didn't bite my lip. I was feeling a little nervous
myself.

She exhaled. "OK," she whispered, and gave me a weak grin.

**

I finished aligning the harness's inner ridge with Melissa's folds and
looked down into her eyes. "If you ever have to do this yourself--"

"Oh, I doubt it'll come to that!"

I gave her an exasperated sigh. "I'm trying to make you a well-rounded
individual." She harrumphed. "As I was saying, you always want the
curve toward your partner's navel. That way, it really hits the spot."
This broke Melissa's frown as she laughed out loud.

Then the consequence of laughing caught her eye. "Heh." She thrust her
hips experimentally, and my cock twitched synchronously with hers.
"Jiggly! How much does one of those contraptions cost, anyway?"

"$63, plus accessories; I got it just for you. Just tell me where you
want the vibrator." She craned her neck again, suddenly interested.
"Just what did you think those pouches were for?"

"I've never given a lot of thought to sex toy design."

"Obviously not... here?" I slid the bullet into place and pressed it
against her.

"No... mmmm... a little over... yes!" I made sure the remote wire was
out of the way, rechecked all the buckles and went back to the toy
box. "Anyway," she called down to me, "if you wanted a dick, why go to
all this trouble? Some people are born with them, you know."

"So I've heard... but these are so much more fun with a girl!" I
triumphantly produced a pair of golden nipple clamps, connected by a
fine chain.

"Jon? It'll hurt." The easy arousal fled as she tensed at the sight.

"These aren't the really painful ones." Reassurance replaced the
teasing in my voice as I closed one on the back of my hand to
demonstrate. "Okay?" I gently stroked the quivering curve of her
breast, avoiding the nipple.

"I...." my brave little submissive gathered her courage.

"I want it to hurt," she declared fiercely.

"I love you, little one."

It was the first time we'd used the "l-word". The moment was right.
She smiled again, and sighed as I massaged her nipple into hardness.
"You can close your eyes, if you'd like." I continued the stimulation
until her breathing began to slow and I sensed she had let go of what
was coming.

When Melissa felt the clamp grip her, her eyes flew open and I drank
in her pain through them. I let the first shock fade for a few
moments, then flicked the devious instrument's base. She gasped. When
I did it again, she moaned.

"Fire and lightning," she mumbled. Her eyes were closed again, screwed
tight this time. "Your whip was the fire; now you've hit me with --
lightening." Under my care, her left nipple was hardening inexorably,
despite occasional flicks at its trapped twin. The combination drew
forth a series of delicious whimpers and half-hearted shivers, as if
she couldn't decide to fight or embrace the torture.

"Are you ready for the next one?" My cock's enjoyment was making it
hard to wait, but the scene itself was probably pushing her hard
enough, so I was determined to wait.

"Yes?" It was a question, not an answer, it was enough to take control
again. Withdrawing, I hovered the open clamp above my target just long
enough that her racing heart began to slow, then eased it on. This
time, she screamed, which thrilled me enough that I added a small
twist. I was perversely satisfied when her vocalizations doubled in
volume.

She was drifting now. "Cruel...."

"You do slip into sub-space easily, little one." Twist again. "It's
beautiful." Her shoulders and chest pulled back into the pillow,
jangling the fine-linked chain resting there.

I had plans for that chain.

First, though, I had my own hang-ups to deal with. I had never
undressed last night and was still fully clothed. Except for the one
time we'd had vanilla sex, she'd never seen me naked. You see, even
though I'm sort of shy in general, I'm not generally modest about my
body. I usually don't care what people think of it.

I cared what Melissa though very, very much.

Pretty silly, huh? Everything I've done in and out of the bedroom, and
getting nekkid for a new lover is always one of the most difficult
things to do. It took all my willpower to stare straight into her eyes
and force my hands down, thumbs hooked into the waistband of Faster
Than Light briefs.

Her lips didn't say anything, but I felt the unconditional acceptance
in her gaze. With it came was a raw hunger, feeling and knowing my
own.

I dressed us both in condoms. Several rounds of strategic lube
application later, I was crouching over her newly-installed naughty
bits. Reaching down, I turned her vibrator to the frustration pattern:
a nicely timed rise and fall I hoped would keep her squirming under
me.

Inhale. Relax. And my ass was gliding down onto her. When I exhaled,
it was with a glow of satisfaction.

"I can feel it moving in you," she whispered intently. "You're rocking
back and forth ever so slightly. Is that what I look like when you're
inside me?"

"Can you feel this?", I asked, grinding the shaft between my muscles
into her pubic bone.

"Eeep! Please?" she pouted, arching her back. When I shook my head,
she groaned and ground her teeth together. And at last it was time to
complete the scene.

I bent forward and flicked both clamps again, producing the longest
moan yet. Her cock pulsed desperately inside me.

My fingers closed around the chain.

Until now, she had been enormously turned on, but not in an orgasmic
way. Judging by her spasms and the delicious noises she made, this all
changed with the first tug. Those that followed produced an
increasingly violent reaction. I varied the tempo, feeding on my total
control of her movements under me and the shifting fullness inside.

The room filled with our cries and grunting. "Like reins," I remarked
after an endlessly brief interval.

Her cheeks puffed out as she breathed heavily. "Ride 'em, cowboy..."
she agreed between pants.

"Oh, I'd love to make you into a ponygirl, little one. But not quite
yet." She bit her lip as the image produced a miniature orgasm. As she
rippled below, I started working myself up and down, accompanied by a
gentle, pleasant flexing of my own cock.

"Ponygirl... what does a horse do when she wants to throw her rider?"
Melissa wondered out loud. "She bucks and bolts until one of them has
mastered the other...." the sweet voice trailed off as her brow
furrowed.

"I am your only Master, little one." Tug. "You've already given
yourself over and allowed me to bind you down." Tug. "Helpless."
Another tug, the hardest yet. "Owned."

"A girl can--owwoog---dream," she grunted and thrust deliberately. I
savored the penetration, although her bound position made fucking
upward difficult. As a reward, I increased the speed of the vibe. In
turn, her whole body shook harder.

Her head thrashed from side to side, and the flush covering her from
neck to navel blazed to nova intensity. Soon, her first real cum
arrived. She threw her head all the way back, announcing our ardor
with increasing abandon.

I let go of the chain with my left hand, and supplemented it with more
small twists of her nipples. The part of my mind watching over her
safety checked that the clamps were loose enough that I didn't have to
worry about her circulation for a while.

Tracing patterns on her heaving belly as her rapid climb resumed, my
thumb brought the vibe back down. She howled, desperate and needy.

**

We appeared to move together in slow motion. I drank in her tender
helplessness--the way her muscles slid under smooth skin, the motions
of her face as she twisted through an expanding universe of pleasure
and pain.

It was time.

The chain dropped to her chest as my hand reached for the remote a
final time. She babbled incoherent thanks as she felt the result. It
fell next to her ear. My left hand worked her breasts faster, and the
right cupped her cheek, stroking the side of her head.

Melissa screamed and arched as high as she could, her muscles locked
in helpless contractions. I answered her, with each hump forward. My
condom's limp reservoir expanded as I jabbed her into the walls of my
rectum.

We collapsed into the bed, my chest pressing the nipple clamps into
hers. Melissa moaned almost inaudibly. Her whole body was shuddering
sleekly. I sobbed when she slipped out.

**

Later, I had removed all the toys and restraints from her and we were
spooned together. She rolled over languidly, and bent her forehead
toward mine. As I stroked her damp hair, we shared each others' souls
as if there was no space between our eyes.

"I love you too, Master," she said.

Her eyes closed. Minutes or hours later, I realized she was asleep.