Chapter 6
I reminded the boys that they aren't to let any adults see them groping their new pet. Then I sent them on their way. Before they left, John, still unable to believe his good fortune asked, "We can do anything we want? We can touch her anywhere?"
I nodded and said, "But don't fuck her until you get her back to the house. I don't think your parents would be very happy if the cops called them to come and get you because you were fucking a skank in the park."
Amber flinched at being referred to as a skank. I guess she just doesn't realize it yet.
I gave the boys a fifty yard head start. Then I began to follow behind at a leisurely pace. It isn't that I thought they might need me to control her or that I really care what happens to her. I just thought it would be amusing to watch.
I wasn't the only one who wanted to watch. I didn't get more than twenty yards down the street before Tawney came running up behind me.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"Yes I'm sure! I'm still upset that you don't let me watch the guys having sex with her anymore!"
I put my arms around her and said, "I'm a dad now. Your welfare is important to me."
"Uh oh! Have I created a monster?"
"A daddy monster? Maybe. I take the job seriously."
She put her arm around my waist and we followed behind as the boys escorted Amber to the park. We couldn't see much of Amber. They had closed in around her and were talking excitedly. We couldn't hear them. But we were close enough to see that they took turns looking around and then reaching under her skirt to grab her ass or reaching into her top and grabbing a handful of one of her tits.
She ignored the molesting hands and continued walking dejectedly towards the park at a steady pace.
One of the boys would occasionally ask her a question. She would either nod or shake her head as appropriate. I can only imagine what they were asking her but she didn't seem to be enjoying the conversation.
As soon as they stepped onto the path around the park, JD grabbed the end of the belt from John and took his turn holding her leash. Amber didn't give any indication that she was even aware of it. She did, however, seem very aware when John looked around and seeing that there were no adults nearby he lifted the back of her skirt and held it up as they walked.
I saw Amber stiffen up in response. But she didn't speak or make any effort to cover her ass.
The boys continued to touch her, her ass, her pussy, her tits. They were lingering touches now and it didn't look like they were paying much attention to their surroundings. But I was reassured when a couple came out onto the path from one of the side paths that cut across the park and the boys let Amber's skirt fall back into place. They still got some funny looks. That's to be expected. If you see three kids leading a slut around on a leash you have to have questions.
When I saw that they were paying attention to their surroundings I relaxed and enjoyed the show. Just before we came to the far end of the park we came upon a group of half a dozen boys who were returning from the baseball diamond adjacent to the park. They were obviously friends of JD and John. They greeted each other while the boys stared in something like shock at Amber.
Tawney and I stopped to watch as the boys discussed the new neighborhood slut. When I saw them later I would have to ask what it was they told their friends about her. Whatever it was their friends obviously weren't convinced until one of them said something to Amber and she slowly lifted her little skirt up to her waist.
She stood there, surrounded by nine young boys, holding her skirt up to her waist while John and JD reached around and pulled her top aside to reveal her breasts. I was completely satisfied with the way things were going. I couldn't have written a better script.
The ball players crowded around and were given an opportunity to grope Amber for a few minutes before they went their separate ways. I suspect that JD, John and Eric will be legends among their peers for a long time to come. I also suspect that they're increasingly anxious to get Amber back to her house.
We followed the three boys and Amber all the way around the park and then back up our street. Tawney and I went to our house while they continued on up to the end of the block before returning to Amber's house for their treat.
I got us both a drink and we went outside. When we were comfortable I said, "I still worry about how seeing the things I do, or have done, to Amber is going to affect you later in life. This is going to be embarrassing for both of us. But I need to ask you a couple of very personal questions. I would normally not even think of asking someone these questions. But I worry about you and I think it's important that I find out how you're reacting. I need you to be painfully honest with me. Okay?"
She sat back and sighed. She said, "I keep telling you that you don't have to worry. But I promise that I will answer as honestly as I possibly can."
I reached across the table and held her hands in mine. I squeezed them gently and said, "No girl your age should be in the position you are now. No girl your age should be asked the questions I am going to ask. Certainly not by a man she just met. But I need some assurance that I'm not harming you. If I am and you need help I need to know that, too."
I lifted her hands to my lips and kissed her fingers. She smiled affectionately. But she didn't know what I was going to ask and she was nervous.
"Do you masturbate?" I asked, trying desperately not to sound like a prude.
She blushed furiously. But then she laughed nervously and replied; "Now I understand why you're so nervous!"
She looked down at her hands. After a long pause she quietly replied, "I touch myself sometimes. I haven't masturbated. Not really. I've never had an orgasm. I don't think I have, anyway."
I smiled and said, "If you did you'd know it."
She found the nerve to look up and smile. Then she asked, "Is that it? Is that what you want to know?"
I shook my head and said, "Unfortunately, no. That was just leading up to what I want to know. You're going through puberty. Your body is changing and you are beginning to think about sex ... probably a lot. I don't remember when I started having sexual fantasies. I was a slow starter. I was probably a little older than you at the time.
"I'm concerned about how what you have seen will affect your sexual desires, your fantasies. I want you to have every shot at a normal life. I want you to be happy. I want you to be whatever you would have been if you had normal parents and a normal childhood.
"The problem with that is that your fantasy life, your sexual desires are forming now. I will be devastated if the things you see happening to Amber begin to warp your future fantasies.
"I need you to promise me that if ... Christ! I don't even know how to put this!"
She smiled, though she was obviously still very embarrassed, and said, "I know what you're saying. I think I understand what it is you're afraid of. I don't think it's having an effect on me. Maybe it would be different if I didn't hate her so much. But I do hate her and I understand that what's happening to her isn't about sex. It's all about revenge.
"Maybe, if I start to masturbate sometime in the future, or if I'm lying in my bed at night thinking about sex, maybe I'll find that the things that are happening now will start to have an effect. If that happens, as embarrassing as it will be, I promise that I will discuss it with you. Does that ease your mind?"
"I have your word?"
She nodded. Then she said, "I think it's really sweet that you worry about that. Thank you. I love you for being so concerned about me."
I squeezed her hands and said, "I hope you still love me tomorrow afternoon."
She started to look at me quizzically and then remembered that she has a dental appointment tomorrow morning.
"I thought you said it wouldn't hurt!"
"It won't hurt much. You take good care of your teeth and they look like they're in good shape. You should have been getting regular checkups and regular cleanings. You may have a cavity or two. Maybe not. You eat hardly any sugar and you do a great job of brushing.
"The worst part of going to the dentist for most people is the fear of pain. Unless they have a real problem they seldom suffer any real pain. And you don't strike me as the kind of girl who gets scared much. I'm not worried about you."
She gave me an ominous look and said, "Just remember, I know where you sleep."
As it turned out we needn't have worried. She had no cavities. She got a good cleaning and it was such a good experience for her that I knew she wouldn't have a problem going in the future. I suppose it didn't hurt that her dentist is a handsome young man who, if I met him on the street, I would swear was just a teenager. Tawney was certainly taken with him.
Amber had a busy weekend. We took her shopping at the Goodwill store in town on Saturday morning. We easily found two dozen extremely slutty outfits for her in no time at all. I got the impression that a few local prostitutes must have donated their uniforms and gone out of business.
They were truly awful, truly slutty outfits. Amber was already anticipating wearing them to work and the humiliation was plain to see on her face. She was really feeling sorry for herself. It looked as if she was on the verge of tears for most of the morning.
The amazing thing was that we bought enough slutty outfits to last two weeks and I paid less than thirty dollars for the works! I made it clear that she was to start wearing one of those outfits whenever she left the house and that she was to wear them in a regular rotation. I warned her that I don't want any of them to be put up somewhere and not worn because it's sluttier than the others.
She nodded her understanding and then she and Dan put her new clothes in their car and drove home. I had ordered them to meet us at the store. I didn't want to spend any more time than I had to with them.
After they left and we were on our way home, Tawney asked, "How come you only had sex with her that one time? I don't know that much about guys. But from what I've heard you always want sex. She may be a bitch. But you have to admit she's sexy. You could do it with her every day. Why don't you?"
I've been wondering that myself, of course. It isn't that I don't get horny. I do. I am. But I only raped her that one time because she had it coming. It was what I went to prison for. I'll admit that it was my original intention to use her as a virtual sex slave every day until I tire of her and send her to prison.
But after I went home that first evening I was disgusted with myself. I still shudder to think of what I did. And I can't bring myself to repeat it. I can't attribute the change entirely to conscience, though. Taking Tawney into my home and into my heart has been a life changing experience.
Yes, I am horny. And the constant reminder of what I'm missing as I make her sleazy ass available to others doesn't help. Yet I can't bring myself to use her again. She disgusts me. I'm certain that a large part of my reaction is that, temporarily at least, I have custody of Tawney. I'm concerned with what she might think about me if I continue to rape her mother.
I made a feeble attempt at explaining something that I don't really understand myself to Tawney. It sounded pretty lame. She didn't understand. But since I'm not certain I understand either I can't blame her.
Darius and Tyrrell came over and did the yard work that day as usual. They were finishing up when we got home. The four of us sat in the back yard and we three men had a cold beer and talked.
They were uncomfortable talking in front of Tawney. She sensed it and got up. She said with amazing perceptiveness for a girl her age, "It's obvious that you girls don't feel comfortable gossiping in front of me. I guess I'll go upstairs and download some porn so you can swap recipes or whatever it is you want to discuss."
They watched her walk away with their mouths open while I struggled not to laugh. It wasn't until the door closed behind her that I began to wonder if she was actually downloading porn.
Tyrrell only stayed for one beer before he hurried across the street to play with Amber. After he left I said, "I wonder if he's going to take a shower before he sticks his cock in her mouth. I hope not."
Darius shook his head and said, "You really do hate that broad. You'll be pleased to know that knowing Tyrrell the way I do I can just about guarantee that she'll soon be sucking on his sweat soaked balls."
Darius and I spent an hour and a half shooting the shit before Tyrrell returned looking drained.
They left after Tyrrell had a quick beer. When they were gone I went up to check on Tawney. Her door was open. I tapped on it and when she looked up I asked, "Do you really download porn?"
She laughed so hard she couldn't answer for a minute. Finally she calmed down and said, "I've looked at some of it. I was curious. But I guess I'm not ready for that yet. I just don't get the point. I mean, I don't know ... it was kind of exciting in a way. I'm curious about sex and about boys. But when I look at that stuff it's like something is missing."
She shrugged and said, "Maybe I'll grow into it."
I was relieved, I think. I don't know a damn thing about young girls. Hell! I don't know much about women! But her answer seemed honest and I thought I understood what she was trying to say.
We went to a movie that evening. She had never been to a theater before. It wasn't the best movie I've ever seen but it was geared more towards kids and she enjoyed it. I enjoy bringing her pleasure.
We were up early the next morning, as usual. We went for our run. I'm amazed at how quickly her endurance is growing. She was able to run almost the entire route and I ran at almost my normal pace. I was really proud of her.
We went home and after cooling off we showered and dressed. We had an early appointment for her physical. I drove over to the doctor's office. It's in a new building in a nearby medical complex. Our appointment was with the physician's assistant. We would have had to wait more than a month for an appointment with the doctor.
I filled out the forms and gave them a copy of the Medical Power of Attorney. Then we waited for just a few minutes before we were called into the back. A nurse weighed Tawney and then she had to go into a restroom and pee in a cup. That took a while.
When she finally came out we were escorted to an exam room. I wanted to speak to the PA before the exam. After that I planned to leave them alone.
The door opened and I got to my feet. The PA was a woman. The PA was a very pretty woman. I started to say hello when she exclaimed, "PAUL!"
It was only then that I recognized her. It has been a very long time. It was Caryn Rogers! Well, Caryn Thomas now, according to her nametag.
We used to be very, very good friends. She lived down the street from me when I was a kid and we pretty much grew up together. We grew even closer in high school. We didn't date. We weren't that kind of friends. But because we lived near each other we saw each other all the time.
We worked on school projects together sometimes. If I didn't understand something in class she could often make it clear. If she didn't understand something I could sometimes help her.
We drifted apart when we went away to college. We exchanged letters at first. This was back before everyone had computers and email. But life being what it is we quickly began to lose touch.
There was a long, uncomfortable silence after she called out my name. She was blushing and suddenly I knew what she was thinking. As if to confirm it she said, "I heard about your ... troubles."
What she meant was that she heard that I was arrested, tried and convicted for a violent rape. The tension in the room was palpable. It was clear to see how she feels about me now. I'm a felon convicted of a heinous crime and I make her nervous. I guess I can't blame her. I could have tried to explain. But she probably wouldn't believe me if I did.
I finally said, "Caryn, this is Tawney. She has only seen a doctor a couple of times. Both times it was in the emergency room for treatment of injuries that resulted from abuse. She needs a good checkup."
I turned to Tawney and said, "You're in good hands. I'll wait for you in the waiting room."
I nodded at Caryn and left them alone.
I returned to the waiting room. As I always do when I'm going to be sitting in something called a waiting room I brought a book. I sat as far as I could from the television in the far corner and read until Tawney appeared before me almost forty-five minutes later.
I smiled up at her and said, "I was getting worried. Is everything alright?"
She nodded and said, "I apparently passed with flying colors. She's going to try to get my records from the emergency room. But she had x-rays taken and said that my cracked ribs healed well. She said that I'm in better shape than most kids. I told her that you were letting me run with you and swim laps."
I got up and went to pay for our visit. I don't have insurance so it was pretty expensive. Between the x-rays and all of the shots they gave her it added up fast. It's a good thing I'm rich. I don't know how regular people pay for this kind of thing.
We went straight home. I asked her a few questions about the tests they subjected her to. She answered, but she seemed preoccupied. I think that the way Caryn reacted to seeing me bothered her. There wasn't much that I could say to her that. It bothers me that Caryn believes I'm a rapist, too. I can tell myself that it doesn't matter. But it does. It matters even more when it's someone I care about.
Tawney was quieter than usual all the rest of the day. I asked her about it and she said it was nothing. But I knew what was bothering her. I tried to explain that I haven't seen Caryn in a long time and what she thinks of me isn't really important.
She was perceptive enough to realize that was a crock of shit.
At about the usual time I was standing in the kitchen staring into the refrigerator, trying to decide what I was in the mood to have for supper when the doorbell rang. I went to answer it and was shocked to see Caryn standing there.
She looked very uncomfortable. My first thought was that something was wrong with Tawney and I nearly panicked. But then I realized that she wouldn't have come to my home for that. Someone would have called.
I was just about to invite her in when she said, "I'm sorry. I know it's rude to show up without calling first. I tried to call. I got your number and your address from Tawney's records. But I didn't know what to say. I needed to be able to see your face."
I finally snapped out of it and stepped back and held the door for her. I escorted her into the kitchen and explained, "I need to keep an eye on Tawney. She's just learning how to swim."
She smiled and said, "I know. She told me. You were all she talked about. She adores you."
There was an uncomfortable pause and I realized that Caryn was crying quietly. I saw the tears in her eyes just before she exclaimed, "Oh god, Paul! I'm so sorry. I should have known!"
I was pretty proud of myself. I actually knew what she meant!
I smiled and said, "Of course you couldn't have known. And your reaction when you saw me today was perfectly normal under the circumstances. I gather you had a talk with Tawney about more than her health? She's supposed to be keeping that information to herself."
I grabbed a box of tissue from the counter behind me and slid it over to Caryn. She took a moment to recover her composure. Then she said, "No. You're wrong. I should have known you couldn't do what that woman said you did. And I should have written to you and visited you. When I think about what you've been through! You've been so alone for so long. Your fiancée left you. Your friends deserted you. You said you were innocent and no one believed you. Not even me. And I should have. I should have known you couldn't do the things she said you did. You were always the nicest guy I knew. I'm so ashamed."
"It's alright, Caryn. You don't believe it now. That's important to me. What you thought of me has always been important to me. I'm sorry we drifted apart when we went away to college. You left a big hole in my life."
"Oh I know! I felt the same way! All through college there was hardly a day that I didn't think, 'I wish Paul was here to explain this to me.' I missed you more than I should have. I don't think I realized how much you meant to me until you were gone. I know we were never more than friends, except we were. We were always more than friends. I guess we were just too dumb to realize it."
"You were a hard act to follow, Caryn. No girl I met after you could quite measure up. Even after I got engaged, I'm embarrassed to admit that I thought about you all the time. I tried to get in touch with you. But you know what your dad thought of me. When I called to try to get your address after college your father told me you were engaged and hung up the phone before I could say another word."
She looked me in the eyes and whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry about a lot of things."
I offered her a drink and after I got us both a beer I said, "Would you like to stay for supper?"
But then I remembered. I blushed and said, "I'm sorry. Of course you can't. I know you're married now. It's just hard to think of you that way. In my mind you're still the sweet, crazy little bitch I went to high school with."
She exploded in laughter for a moment and the tension between us began to slowly melt. I couldn't help smiling as I watched her. I remember realizing quickly after I went away to college that I felt more than friendship for Caryn.
But we were apart, living separate lives. Our letters, written to be carefully neutral, dwindled away and although I never forgot her I did move on.
Sitting across from her now, she looked just like she did when I last saw her almost eighteen years ago. And that laugh! God I missed that genuine, heartfelt, unashamed laugh.
She suddenly reached across the table and took my hands. She smiled and said, "Just as tactful as ever. I have missed you so. I would love to stay for supper, if you don't mind sharing a meal with a divorced woman."
"I'm going to make every effort to exude sympathy, Caryn. I wouldn't want you to suspect how my heart sped up when you said that you were divorced."
She sat back and we stared at each other in silence for a couple of minutes. Then we both started to speak at the same time. We stopped and she said, "After you."
I shrugged and admitted, "I don't know what to say. This is all so sudden and I'm afraid that it might be too good to be true. I'm afraid that if I say the wrong thing I'll jinx it."
She nodded her head slowly and said, "Exactly."
I sat there thinking that this can't be happening. And if it is happening it certainly can't be happening this quickly. It was time to take a deep breath, slow down and not get carried away.
Tawney chose that moment to come inside. It was a good thing she didn't get in trouble in the pool. I wouldn't have seen a thing!
She came over and stood behind me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and said, "Hi, Mrs. Thomas."
Then in my ear she quietly asked, "Am I in trouble?"
I smiled and answered, "Yup! Looks like I'll have to beat your ass again tonight!"
"Promises, promises!"
Then she said to Caryn, "I'm glad you came. He has been moping around since we were in your office today."
I pulled her around into my lap and asked, "How much did you tell her, blabber mouth?"
She looked at Caryn and then admitted sheepishly, "Quite a lot. More than you would have wanted me to. We talked for a long time. I think she's cool with it."
I kissed her cheek and put her out of my lap. I said, "Go up and get dressed. When you come back down we'll figure out what to do about supper."
She hugged me and said, "I love you, dad."
She ran upstairs and left another long silence hanging in the air between Caryn and me.
I was trying to think of something to say. I felt that I should explain what I'm doing to Tawney's parents. But nothing that came to mind sounded reasonable. It's hard to explain to someone whose opinion matters to you that you are causing a woman to be raped on a regular basis by friends and complete strangers.
Before I could think of the right words she asked, "Doesn't that make your heart just want to burst?"
She saw the confusion on my face. I was still thinking about what I was doing to Amber.
She grinned and said, "She calls you dad. And she adores you. You should have seen her face in my exam room when she was talking about you. After you left us alone in there, when I still thought you did what they sent you away for, she started talking about you. At first I was afraid that you and she might be ... well, you know. Unfortunately we have to worry about that these days. It took me a moment to catch on. You're the parent she never had.
"She told me about her real parents, the things they've done and the way they've treated her. She loves you unconditionally and not just because you saved her from them. And I see that same look in your eyes. You adore her, too.
"Christ! I have to stop this! I'm not a crying female! I feel so emotional right now. And I feel so guilty. Please forgive me, Paul, for everything."
I shook my head and told her again that there was nothing to forgive her for. A jury of my peers convicted me of aggravated rape and dozens of other related charges. She had no reason to believe that it wasn't true.
She got up and came around the table. She said, "Instead of cooking, let me take you two out to dinner. I want to start making amends for not baking you a cake with a file in it ... or is it okay to joke about that?"
"If you don't laugh you have to cry. Laughter is preferable. But I think we need to get serious for a minute or two first. I don't know what Tawney told you. But I have done some pretty awful things lately. I think you need to know what's going on here. You may not be so anxious to spend time with me if you know the whole story."
She looked me straight in the eye and said, "Tawney told me some. I don't want to know anymore than I do already. But there is something you need to think about. Who is paying the bigger price now for what she did? Who is being diminished by the punishment you're exacting? What is punishing her doing to you? What are you gaining by putting off having her arrested?"
I had an answer for her last question. "I can't turn her in yet. I need time. I can't have her arrested until I find some way to get custody of Tawney. I won't give that girl up. I won't let them put her into foster care.
"I need time to work that out. I have a man making inquiries. When that's taken care of ... then it can be over."
She nodded and I saw that she understood, even approved. Then there was a thoughtful pause, after which she reached into her purse and pulled out her phone. I watched curiously while she dialed and after a moment said, "Hi, pop. I need some advice.
"Can I bring a friend?
She looked at her watch and said, "Be right there."
She hung up and said, "We have somewhere to go. Get Tawney and let's go for a little ride."
I didn't have to get Tawney. She was standing in the doorway when Caryn hung up. She asked, "Where am I going?"
Caryn smiled and said, "We're going to see my ex father-in-law. I'm divorced from his son now. But I got to keep him in the settlement."
She saw the funny look on my face and shrugged. She said, "What can I say. It turns out he likes me more than he likes his son."
She smiled and said, "You can't blame him. I'm a nicer person."
We went with Caryn in her car. She drove a few miles to a huge estate on the edge of town. She punched a code into the keypad at the security gate and we drove up the long, circular driveway.
A woman opened the front door before we got to it and ran out to hug Caryn. She was extremely excited and asked Caryn a hundred questions about how she was doing and what she was doing and never gave her a chance to answer one of them.
We entered the house and when the woman stopped prattling on, Caryn introduced us to Helen, her father-in-law's housekeeper. Helen said hello to me and made a fuss over Tawney. Then she said, "The crotchety old fart is in his study."
A deep voice called out, "I heard that! Somebody please tell me why I don't fire that lazy broad!"
Caryn grinned and said, "Nothing ever changes around here!"
We followed Caryn down a long, wide marble corridor to a set of pocket doors near the end. We entered to see an elderly but very fit looking gentleman sitting behind a huge ornate desk.
Caryn rushed around the desk and hugged him carefully. She kissed him and then asked, "Is it bad, pop?"
The man shook his head and replied, "No. I just have to stay off of it."
Caryn stepped back and said, "Paul, Tawney, this is Stewart Thomas, my father-in-law. He isn't rude. Well, he is. We overlook it because ... I forget why. There must be a reason, though. He can't get up today. He suffers from gout and he's having an attack of it at the moment. So he's apt to be crankier than usual. Just ignore him. Everyone does."
Mr. Thomas rolled his eyes and said to me, "And this from the people I love! The people who don't like me, like that horrible housekeeper I'm afraid to fire, treat me even worse!"
Helen came in just then with a tray. There was hot chocolate for Tawney and we were offered a cup of tea.
As Helen poured she said, "The stubborn fool knows that tea is bad for gout. But he has it in his head that when he has guests they must be served tea because his ancestors came from England. He's just putting on airs if you ask me!"
I tried not to smile as I exchanged greetings with Mr. Thomas. Tawney and I took our cups and sat down in huge leather chairs while Caryn climbed up on the corner of his desk and told him all about us.
He listened in silence until Caryn finished her tale. Then he turned to me and said, "I remember you. I'm the judge who reduced your original sentence. It was hugely disproportionate. I assumed that there must be aggravating circumstances but there was no mention of them anywhere in any of the paperwork and I couldn't find anything in the trial record that mentioned them. I must confess, though, that I didn't doubt your guilt."
Before I could speak, Tawney came to my defense. "But he wasn't guilty! He can prove it. I've heard my mother admit it several times. He has her confession on a computer disk."
Mr. Thomas sat back, wincing in pain for a moment. When the pain passed he asked, "Why are you coming to me? I'm retired. I can't reopen your case. You need to hire a good lawyer. If you like I can recommend someone."
I shrugged and said, "I'm not sure why I'm here, sir. Caryn brought us here with no explanation."
She then explained that before I can clear my name and turn over the evidence against Amber and Dan I need to get custody of Tawney. That presented us with a bit of a Catch 22 situation. I can't clear my name without going to the authorities with the evidence. I can't deliver the evidence to the authorities because if I do I'll lose Tawney since I stand convicted of rape and I'm a single male only recently released from prison.
No judge in his right mind will give me custody of Tawney. If presented with the facts of my case even I wouldn't give me custody of Tawney!
Mr. Thomas, Judge Thomas, sat up and stared at Tawney for a long moment. Then he turned to Caryn and said, "Would you mind showing Mr. Cable my garden? I'll call you when you're done looking it over."
We left him alone with Tawney. I winked at her before we left. She didn't seem nervous in the least. I was really proud of her.
Caryn led me through the kitchen. We went out onto the grounds. You couldn't call it a backyard. It put me in mind of one of those English estates you see in old movies. There were plants and sculpted shrubs everywhere you looked.
I would have expected to find a swimming pool in back of a mansion like this. There were fountains galore. But if there was a pool I didn't see it.
We didn't walk around. We took a seat at a patio table and talked. We both had a lot of questions. I learned that she became engaged to the judge's son during her last year in college. He went on to law school. Her plans for medical school somehow got put on hold.
They got married before he finished law school and lived happily ever after for all of two years before he started fucking nearly every female in the DA's Office. The only bright spot was that she had become, for far too short a time, the daughter that the Judge had always wanted. They became very, very close.
When Caryn couldn't break him of the philandering she left her husband. But the judge refused to let her out of his life. He volunteered to put her through the medical school of her choice. She reluctantly accepted some help while she went back to school to become a PA.
She still thinks about finishing medical school occasionally. But she likes her job. She's making a good living and she isn't a kid anymore. The idea of all that studying, all those long hours, she doesn't think she has it in her now.
My story was shorter and more depressing. I finished college and went off to start my own little company with my Engineering Degree in hand and a couple of bright ideas in my head. I threw all of my time and energy into my company and it turned out that I wasn't the only one who thought some of my ideas had merit. I quickly became successful and was on track to become very wealthy in a very short time.
I began dating a young woman who worked for me when I finally thought I had a little time for a personal life. We became engaged. And then my life collided with Amber.
Caryn asked me a few questions about what it was like to be in prison. It was a depressing subject. I told her a little, at times bringing tears to her eyes. Then I skipped ahead to the end. I told her about turning down parole so that I could be released unconditionally and about the detective I hired. I told her what Jon found out and how readily available the information had been.
We were pretty much caught up with each other's lives when Helen came out with Tawney and said the judge wants to see Caryn.
Caryn went inside and Helen brought us out glasses of lemonade. I asked Tawney what she and the Judge talked about. The simple explanation to what the Judge wanted to know was everything. He questioned her thoroughly about her childhood and what kind of relationship she now has with her parents and with me.
Caryn came out and invited us back inside after ten minutes or so. The Judge started grilling me as soon as I entered his study. He may be retired, but he still has a very keen mind. He didn't miss a thing. Once he had learned everything I could tell him he started asking questions about the detective I hired.
I wasn't sure how much Jon would want me sharing with him, or even if I should have told him everything that I already did. I asked the judge to give me a moment and I called Jon on my cell.
When he answered I said, "I'm visiting a Judge Stewart Thomas. I'm with him now. He knows pretty much everything. He wants to know your identity. Is that a problem for you?"
Jon asked me to hand the phone to the Judge and I watched as they talked like two old friends for a long time. Well, Jon did most of the talking. But it was obvious that the Judge likes and respects Jon.
After a lengthy exchange the judge handed me back my phone and said, "Why the hell didn't you tell me it was Jon?! We wouldn't have had to go through all this!
"I'll look into this tomorrow. Jon may need to come to your home and pick up those materials he brought you. You have my word they will be kept safe."
He turned to Caryn then and gave her hell for not visiting often enough. Then he asked us to leave so that he could make some phone calls.
Before we left I said, "I need to make certain that one thing is very clear here, Judge. The most important thing to me ... to us, is not that Amber and Dan are put away for the things that they've done or even that my name is cleared. That stopped being the reason for my actions almost from the beginning. The important thing now is that some bureaucrat doesn't come to our house and take Tawney away from me. I will not allow that to happen, no matter the consequences."
He smiled and replied, "I'm glad to hear you say it like that. But both Tawney and Caryn already made that quite clear. I think that you have a very valid concern."
I felt my heart stop for a moment. Then he smiled and said, "And I think that Caryn probably put you in touch with the one man in this state that can help you."
My mind was not totally at ease. But I think I drew a deep breath for the first time in a week. I thanked him in advance for his help. We started to leave then. He called me back and dismissed Caryn and Tawney.
I approached his desk. For some reason he makes me nervous. There aren't many people I meet anymore who can do that. He smiled up at me when I reached his desk and said, "Mr. Cable, my pond scum son hurt that woman very badly. She is very fond of you. I think I understand why. You are a strong, principled, and resilient young man. You'll do well. But I want your word you won't hurt her. I love Caryn as if she were my own. I couldn't stand to see her hurt again the way my son hurt her.
"That isn't a threat. I'll see to it that justice is done in your case. It's a request from an old man who wants to protect someone he loves. It's obvious to me that you can understand that."
I smiled and replied, "I don't know yet if Caryn and I have a chance. A lot has happened, to both of us. I ... I've been changed by the things that happened to me. But I give you my word that I love her. She has been special to me since we were kids. I would never intentionally hurt her. I can promise you that I'll try to do what's best for her."
He nodded and said, "I can accept that. I don't know you very well. But I know that Caryn is an excellent judge of character, except for that blind spot when it came to my son. And Tawney seems like she has her head screwed on straight as well. If two women like that feel the way they do about you then you must have something going for you."
"You think Caryn, I mean ... does Caryn ... are you certain?"
He chuckled and shook his head, obviously wondering what Caryn sees in me. I felt that I had to say in my own defense, "Not a lot of good things have happened to me in a very long time. Tawney is the first. If they took her away from me it would kill me. I just saw Caryn today for the first time in nearly two decades. I was shocked at how I felt when I saw her again for the first time and I'm shocked that she seems to feel that way.
"But my life is too unsettled right now to rush into anything. I can, however, give you my word that I would never hurt Caryn."
"I think I believe you. And I think that you are a lot more civilized than you think you are. You worry about how you've been changed. I think the answer is not very much. You were a good man before. You're a good man now. You may need to lower your guard a little and let people in. I can understand how that might be difficult after what you went through. But with those two women in your life I suspect that you'll do just fine."
I left his office feeling better about the future than I think I ever have before.